The Path Ahead
It’s now been a little more than 4 months since my first post on this theme, and a little less than 4 months since the top of my head was expertly cut open - and then (thankfully) successfully sewn back up!
What’s next? I’ve just embarked on what can be considered phase 3 of this winding and rather steep path. If phase 1 was surgery, and phase 2 was immediate post-op chemotherapy and radiation, phase 3 is ongoing intermittent chemotherapy. What does that mean? For 5 days a month, I’m on a high dosage of chemotherapy, and then have 23 days off before the next cycle. Phase 3 also includes frequent lab work, tests, and MRIs to keep very close tabs on what is going on inside of my head. This phase will last for some time, and includes its own strict regime of medication...along with varying side effects. I will stick to the clinical program and am supplementing it with my own daily practices & vegan diet.
With the help of so many people and forces much bigger than me, I’ve learned or re-learned many lessons since March that have provided me the faith to trust that things will be OK. Many of the recommendations I've been given are of practical benefit to anyone and everyone! For instance - as part of the daily routine - the importance of drinking many glasses of water, eating a very balanced diet with plenty of fruit and veggies, and the need to move (yes, walking and/or chair exercises both count!). In addition, the authors in the new section of my home library emphasize that a healing journey includes leaning into relationships and bonds with family and friends, amplifying daily time for prayer, meditation, positive thoughts and /or affirmations, and recognizing that your value in life is not only about what you ‘do,’ but how you apply lessons learned from your own mistakes, and how you treat others. And my own additions...it's OK to take it easy some days, it's OK to take naps, and it's OK to not have all the answers.
In terms of what I 'do' day to day...I’m slowly starting to re-enter the world, albeit amidst the context of a world that has changed dramatically for everyone over the past year and a half. I’ve started teaching yoga again through ZOOM, and continue to explore my own evolving yoga practices. I’m looking forward to easing back into work part-time soon as well. While I won’t be getting on a plane any time over the next few months, I’m looking very forward to the magic of flying again soon enough.
Life has definitely not been easy over the past few months, and there have been moments of intense sadness and uncertainty. And let’s face it - chemo is not easy on anyone! I can’t say I’ve beat cancer, because I haven’t, but I’m learning to live with it as best I can, day by day. And amidst the moments of difficulty, there have also been many amazing and incredible moments of joy - from exploring Richmond and Durham to and from trips to Duke, to reconnecting with friends and family members either in-person, on the phone or via ZOOM, to moving deeper into spiritual practices. And not to mention the overwhelming generosity, support and love that’s been showered my way and lifted me - and my family - through it all.
My posts in the future may be more about vegan recipes, yoga, and the daily moments to celebrate and cherish. And as I continue this evolving relationship with brain tumors and cancer, I do plan to join my family and friends in supporting several organizations that are doing incredible work and that provide reason for optimism. You’ll see posts highlighting those efforts as well!
Thanks for making it this far with me on the journey.
Photo: blossoming tree in Arlington, Virginia
July 18, 2021
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