It's been 10 days since I woke up on a Thursday morning in Virginia Hospital Center with zero recollection of how I arrived or why I was there. Taking in the tubes in my arms and my splitting headache, I realized that something was off, but my brain was still floating in and out of a dreamy state. I pieced together throughout the morning, and via calls and texts, that the evening before I had gone into seizure while home sitting on the sofa. Baurjan Safi and our neighbors called 911 and rushed me to the hospital that Wednesday evening, where I experienced a second episode. Thankfully, I was already in good medical care.
The hospital staff were absolutely phenomenal and every individual whom I was in contact with was a hero to me. I stayed for three days, and in that span, my parents and sister traveled across the nation to be with me. I learned at the hospital that I've had a brain tumor growing for quite some time, and was presented pictures to confirm. We still have so many questions, and this is still the very beginning of this journey. I'm choosing to go public in hope that the road ahead will offer lessons and support not only for me and for my family, but potentially provide help and inspiration to others in similar situations.
I hope that over the next few days and weeks I can start blogging on some of the topics that I've already thought through in my head - self-care, support, strength, to name a few. The love, energy and prayers (and flowers and meals and vegan treats!) that have already been showered on me over the past week have helped tremendously. I believe strongly in the power of positive collective thoughts, words and prayer.
Acceptance. I'm taking great refuge in daily practices of visualizing and giving thanks for loved ones, mantra meditation, breathing exercises, simple chair yoga, and delighting in the transition to spring before our eyes.
Acceptance. Striving to keep up a positive attitude, while allowing space for the occasional or not so occasional tear to fall. While I know this is just the beginning of a potentially steep hike ahead, soaking in the love, care and support will see me through.
Family and friends, as I think about the journey forward - thank you / ačiū labai / спасибо большое / рахмет / ありがとうございます. With you all by my side, I'll emerge from this stronger and healthier, and hopefully with a little more perspective to offer the world in the process.
With much gratitude for your presence in my life.
March 21, 2021
Photo: Vase of yellow flowers and card on a shelf on display
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