As I was in the midst of a yoga practice early this morning, my teacher prompted me to think of one word or concept that represents a current intention. A few thoughts immediately came to mind - balance, health, love, compassion, and then…acceptance.
The word acceptance means a lot to me at the moment.
First, acceptance is acknowledging that change is inevitable. Whether that is change related to our health, our age, our relationships, our financial situations, our communities, the climate, elected officials, our mindsets and perspectives…everything changes. As “good” or “bad” things may appear today, they are changing and will change. I’ve seen so many friends lament change, often for legitimate reasons. Change is inevitable, but that can be hard to accept. Through yoga, I have learned that it is alright to let go of that which no longer serves us, or to be at peace with that which is out of our own control. This does not mean that we always need to agree with the changes, but we do the best we can with what is in our own circle of control. This brings me a little more peace each day. Accepting change can be a gift.
On a personal level, I noticed today that I haven’t blogged about cancer for the past four months. Sure, I’m reminded of my brain cancer often, and am very committed to supporting individuals affected by cancer (and the organizations that support them). However, I don’t worry about or agitate over my own cancer every day. There are so many labels we put on individuals with cancer - patient, survivor, thriver…I accept that I have been a patient, that I am currently a survivor and thriver, and that I will most likely be a patient again. I accept that there is likely going to be tumor progression, and that I will likely go through treatment again. I find it healthy to accept that. It helps me to build the mental fortitude to prepare.
I also accept that for the time being, I am not in treatment. And I am extremely grateful for this. I’m in the midst of what I think of as the “middle years” - post-surgery, post-chemotherapy, post-radiation, with clean scans thus far. Please knock on wood with me that these middle years last many years! Other than when I get my hair cut short and my scars are visible, people often have no idea that I have brain cancer. I do not hide it; in fact, quite the opposite. I want to continue to normalize discussions around cancer to help destigmatize it and to dispel stereotypes.
I have accepted that cancer (and so many other afflictions) affects not only the patient, but family members and friends. Those who support patients are deeply affected. Support for caretakers and family members is vital.
I accept that some days, I just need to take a short break to recharge, and that is completely alright. I have a lot of ideas, dreams, and goals. I have the desire and drive to be of service to others for as long as possible. I appreciate the gifts I have been given that allow me to lead the life that I do, surrounded by loving family, friends, and supportive colleagues.
What does acceptance mean to you right now in your own life?
Photo: View near home - Marina Bay, Richmond, California; summer 2024
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